Sometimes I get married, and this is one of those times

Have you noticed that I've been gone a while? Well good. I blame the lack of exciting or even somewhat interesting events in my life on nobody but myself, but being the just person that I am, I choose to take it out on you. Maybe it was uncalled for, but I don't care. This is my blog and I do what I want. Marriage is too big to keep quiet though, and I started feeling pains of guilt for keeping it from you all this time, so here it is. I am engaged to be wed, and that means that I'm going to get married. My fiance is hot, and that's the most important thing right now. The juicy details are too painfully adorable for me to even type in real words, so don't even ask me to. I'd like to thank all the people who didn't marry me before, so that I could be where I am today. Now that my thank you's are done I know that you are all starving for a wedding date, even though I don't understand why, because if I were you I'd want to know things like where you're going to live, and if you're going to have babies now or later, and what you're going to wear in your pictures, but I guess nobody is as nosey as I am, so I'll tell you right now that we don't have a date yet. We are thinking about a summer wedding, because Winter is depressing. Summer is the best thing I know, and Jeff is even more the best thing I know, so that's all I need to be happy. I love him like I love Jack Bauer on a rainy night, so with him I will stay for all eternity, and that is a long time.

“Verily, verily, I say unto you, I will impart unto you of my Spirit, which shall enlighten your mind, which shall fill your soul with joy; and then shall ye know”

Sometimes the feeling is like a memory. We first learned the gospel in our heavenly home. We have come to this earth with a veil of forgetfulness. And yet lingering in each of our spirits are those dormant memories. The Holy Ghost can part the veil and bring those things out of their dormancy. Often my reaction to a supposedly new-found truth is, “Oh, I remember that!”

Hilton High Honors

So I went to visit Steffy at the Hilton today.

Lady: I got locked out of my room.
Steffy: ........oh did you want to get back in?
Lady: ........*silence*..........

Man: So does my card get me into my room?
Steffy: Let me see your card.
Man: hands her his car keys

Conclusion: Hilton rocks.

Stuff

I'm going to work on being quiet and listening more. I've had a real problem with that lately, and I think it's because I have ADD, or maybe just because I have bad manners. I don't know which. Anyway, I've been getting really sweaty when I run lately. I didn't used to ever, and I didn't used to smell bad either, but now I do both. I don't know if I'm supposed to say "used to" or "use to". I think maybe I'm going through menopause. Or maybe my deodorant has gone bad. Should I try rubbing deodorant all over my whole body? I wore my retainer for the first time in forever last night, and now my teeth hurt so bad. I'd rather just have crooked teeth. K. Bye.

Meet the Parents

Rule #1- Don't tell his mom to shut up.

Rule #2- Don't talk to his grandma about how much you like "old lady clothes".

Rule #3- Don't make jokes about rubbing his uncles behind the ears.

(I don't really know who these people are)

Duck in bathroom...

poop on floor. I'll punch someone in the face.

A day at the office

8:09 A.M.- I sneak in late.
8.17 A.M.- Sergio asks if I've missed him. I tell him no.
9:30 A.M.- I notice Kris is high.
10:15 A.M.- Sergio mentions how he went to a concert he thinks I would have loved, but couldn't tell me because he doesn't have my phone number. I tell him he's an idiot.
11:00 A.M.- I go to lunch early.
11:30 A.M.- Kris notices that someone stole her lean cousine.
11:30-12:30 P.M.- Kris goes around the office letting everyone know that someone stole her lunch. I laugh hard.
12:27 P.M.- Gary (short man, partly bald, jeans high enough you can see socks and then some skin) walks by my desk. I tell him he smells good.
12:29 P.M.- Gary IM's me and tells me that he's too old for me and that I need to stop hitting on him.
12:30 P.M.- I walk by Gary's desk and tell him how nice he looks.
12:30-2.22 P.M.- I pull files, and listen to two girls using teamwork to put files in numerical order. They talk through the entire process like it's the most important job in the world. I love them.
2:22 P.M.- I find Michelle hiding under my desk reading a book about how to not scream at your kids.
2:24 P.M.- Someone asks me who I'm talking to, and I say myself.
3:01 P.M.- An alarm goes off. No one moves or says anything about it.
3:23 P.M.- Bob makes a dirty joke. Victoria doesn't laugh, but says that's funny over and over. Victoria has a slight lisp.
3:48 P.M.- I sneeze and Shawn tells me to be quiet.
3:51 P.M.- Jenn comes over to ask me if when I'll be done with the audit. Jenn smacks her gum in my ear like a five year old. I hate her.
4:00 P.M.- Everyone leaves.
4:20-4:55 P.M.- Michelle and I talk about how much we hate our bosses, and both leave early.