Stop with the damn eyeshadow.

Hi. It's been a while. So this is a little awkward. Let's just pretend nothing happened in the last year, and get on with the eyeshadow. What???? No. I had a baby, you guys. I have 3 kids now. 3rd time's the charm. Jones is the best baby, and my favorite child. He's so adorable. Ya know what else we did 3 times? Moved! We're so good at moving. We are now Texan's. We don't say ya'll yet, but I've been practicing in the mirror, and I think I'm ready. Truth be told, this move has been a real trial. Our last move, into our Orem house, was supposed to be a permanent one. We invested a lot in it, and it was perfect for our family, but after 2 of the shortest months ever, we repacked everything, and came here. We've grown a lot, and hopefully learned what we were meant to learn through this trial. I've seen Heavenly Father blessing us all along the way, and I'm so grateful for the knowledge that my prayers are answered. I would love to post more about our experiences one day, but I better get on with this before somebody finds me hiding in my room with this bag of year old holiday candy.

Anyway, on to what I'm really here for. What's up with all the makeup tutorials lately? Like, here's how I do my everyday makeup, and then here's how I do my going out makeup, and here's my, "natural look" makeup. What made people decide that anybody cares how they do their makeup? Why DO I care? I can watch these things for hours. And I'm always so pissed afterwards. "Watch how I do my easy everyday makeup!" 25 steps later, I'm pretty sure you can't call it easy anymore. Easy means I colored on some eyebrows, and put on some mascara. If I'm going out, I'll do my fancy makeup and use eyeliner. And you know what, I'm going to go ahead and say it looks good. People need to quit acting like contouring every part of your face, with $5,000 worth of makeup is "easy" or "natural". You're making the rest of us normal people look bad. I say we all stop wearing makeup altogether. It would save a lot of time and money, and we'd all just be equally ugly. That's what I call easy.


Now here's some pictures of my cute family, because nobody likes reading blogs without pictures.

Jeff's sweet dad passed away on Mother's Day, and we got to fly home for a week to be with family, and attend the funeral. Grace graduated from preschool and perfected her swimming already this summer. And yes...that is a book full of pictures of naked people that Henry is looking at.

Measles

I dislike all the negative attention non-vaccinators are getting because of the measles outbreak. The measles didn't start spreading because of people who were unvaccinated. In fact, if you read the two little lines, in the middle of the whole article they posted about it on KSL today, you would know that some of the people infected had in fact been vaccinated. Not vaccinating your children does not make you selfish or stubborn. To assume that the reasoning behind the decision not to vaccinate is based on outdated, falsified information is just ignorant. Parents have the right and the responsibility to make important health decisions for their children. I don't think there's anything selfish about it. It's a personal decision that, for all of the non-vaccinating parents I know, took a lot of thought, prayer, and research. You can't judge another parent for not making the same healthcare choices that you make. I don't go around verbally attacking parents who choose to vaccinate their kids. I think that they love their children, and they feel responsible for their health, and they made the best decision they could. For them. As did my husband and I, for us. So please stop. We're all doing the best we can here.  

If you don't have something nice to say....

When I was pregnant with Henry I got so fat and cranky that I just sat at home for 6 months, eating ice cream and Reses Puffs, and being mean to everyone. This time I vowed that I would be more pleasant. Things were going really well for the first couple months. Then I started feeling sick, and I don't know what happened, but I've lost all desire to be pleasant. It actually makes me feel better to be unpleasant. One day I went grocery shopping, and when I went to pay for my groceries, I didn't have my ID with me, so they wouldn't let me use my credit card. I yelled at the checker. Like in front of a whole line of people. And I wasn't even embarrassed. And then I took the suckers we didn't pay for out of my kids mouths, and put them on the counter, and everybody got to hear them scream all the way out of the store. Today I said some swear words and honked at an old man in his car. Sometimes when I'm out in public people will talk to me. Like they'll bump into me, and say sorry, or they'll comment on how cute my kids are. All nice things. But I hate them. I have awful thoughts, like why are you wasting my time talking to me about my cute kids? I know they're cute. I know that if I don't have something nice to say, I shouldn't say anything at all, but saying the awful things out loud really makes me feel good. Please tell me I'm not the only one who's this mean when she's pregnant. Right now I'm just enjoying that I've done this 3 times now, and I know it won't last forever. My poor kids need a nice mom again. Not to mention Jeff. He's nice for staying married to me.

We've been making some changes in our lives over the past few months. We decided to sell all our rental properties, because it would allow us to pay off all of Jeff's student loans, and get rid of the idiots who rent our houses. When you're a landlord you get to hear the most tragic stories about people's lives. Coincidentally, it's always around the time rent is due. For the first few months I really felt sorry for their dead mom's and lost jobs. Then, after 5 or 6 months, I realized I had been duped. So far we're down 1 house, and we've got 2 more to go. One of them should be closing any day now. It's such a relief to not have that burden every month. To not have to text or call our renters every single month around the 15th, and find out why rent hasn't been paid, and then panic when you can't get a hold of them for another week, and then drive to their house to post an eviction notice on their door only to find them home and well. With a fresh tragedy to explain why rent got pushed aside. Who doesn't pay their rent?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?! Like when you're trying to decide between paying rent and paying anything else, how does rent always lose?! Can I just say, if you are a renter, do not tell your landlord what you spent your money on instead of paying rent.

We really want to buy a house before the baby comes. We've been watching a lot of Rehab Addict, so we're loving the idea of buying a really old house, and fixing it up. We've gone back and forth with locations, so once we decide on that I think we can start looking for a house. That will be a fun little break from puking and yelling at my family. Despite my crankiness, we have been feeling really happy and blessed lately. We had a perfect Christmas with all of our family, and have been loving the kids. Grace has finally grown out of the terrible two's, and she's the best little helper. She practically takes care of Henry for me while I lay in bed all day. Henry has started the terrible two's, and is even worse than Grace was, but he's so cute, I can almost put up with it. So that's that. I'll blog again in another 6 months, and hopefully be telling you that I have a new baby, and a better attitude:) I was going to post some pictures, but I don't know how to get pictures off my phone, and onto my computer, and then onto this blog. I know, I'm such a Grandma. Instead I'll leave you with this.

I promise I'm not one of those weirdo's on Doomsday Preppers

Has anybody else been thinking about preparedness as much as I have? I don't know where it first came up for us, but in the last several months we've had dreams, lessons, books, and just random conversations on the topic. We've been told to get a years supply of food and water for decades now, but it seems like not many people have paid attention, including us. Now it's not brought up anymore. I think we've reached the point where we should have it, and if we don't we're about too late. We've been feeling some urgency to get prepared, and as we've followed those promptings I can feel the blessings starting to come. We're not there yet, but we've made a lot of headway in our food storage. We've also made a lot of connections through our preparedness efforts, and have learned a lot. If anybody is interested in getting more information please let me know. I have good stuff. Not like those food storage recipes and how you can store cans under your bed crap.

Sorry I quit blogging. I have to apologize because I know you've all been dying to hear what my kids have been doing, and to see every picture we've taken for the last 6 months. We've been really busy. Jeff and I both work, and have callings in our ward that take a lot of time. We also decided to sell all 3 of our houses, so we're remodeling 2 of them to get them ready to show. That has been really stressful, because while we're having to fund all of these updates, our renters have all decided to stop paying rent, and punch holes in doors and stuff. I think I'm being punished for all the bad rent checks I wrote when I was a teenager. Anyway, I miss blogging, and I wish I had more time, but I need to go take a bubble bath and watch Dance Mom's while it's still quiet.

Bye.  

My Testimony, and then some other pointless crap.

Well I've pretty much given up on blogging. Life is getting too busy, and now that I have a smart phone I have to play games for at least 8 hours a day.

I saw that the church made a change to it's handbook on social media information. It now says that members are encouraged to use the internet to flood the earth with testimonies of the Savior and his restored gospel.

So I want to bare my testimony that I know that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is God's church. I haven't always known that. The first few years of our marriage have been hard for me, because I haven't had the time or privacy that I once had to study my scriptures and pray. My callings were overwhelming. I questioned God's love for me, and if he did love me, then why would he let certain things happen? I started questioning things about our doctrine, and had serious feelings about leaving the church. When you grow up in the church, thinking of leaving is scary. That fear probably kept me around long enough to practice my faith. I chose to just move forward as if I knew it was true, even though I didn't. In the last few months I slowly started learning more about things I didn't understand. My desire to read my scriptures and pray started growing, and I started to feel God's love for me again. I went to the temple and found answers to my questions. I started following little promptings, and became a tool in God's hand. My love for my family grew. For the first time in my life I crave to read the scriptures, because I want to hear what God has to say to me. My prayers are genuine. I need help, and I know that I will have it if I ask. I know that things are not always as they seem. What happens on this side of the veil is only half the story. There is a whole other life going on on the other side that answers all of our questions. We are a part of a big plan. I know that if you ask God for answers to your questions, he will give them to you. That's all. Bye.

Oh, also, I think I'm going to delete our facebook, because I don't have a single uplifting thing to say to anyone on there.

Things that must go:

ItWorks. Pictures of fatty "before" thighs, and then pictures of less fatty "after" thighs are still just fatty thighs.

Selfies. Seriously. You should be ashamed of yourselves.

Loving and inspiring notes to your children who can't read. Who exactly are you writing to?

Mushy love notes to your spouse. Don't you have their phone number? You're obviously trying to make up for the fact that you're sitting on facebook instead of spending time with the real live person who lives in that house with you.

Mysteriously having your shirt off while taking a selfie. Like, "Oh I just got out of the gym. Great workout!" I work at a gym, and I have not once seen someone with their shirt off.

Mustaches on everything. Why are they a thing?

K Bye.

Oh, here's some pictures of my wild kids.

Eating sugar

 

Eating dog food.

This is the title of my blog.

So much has happened since the last time I blogged. I'm worried that if I don't catch up now, I never will. So here's the lowdown...

 

We moved to Murray.

 

Grace turned 3.

 

 

Sadie had puppies.

 



We celebrated Easter.





Henry's trying to be modest.

 

 

 

Henry started walking, finally, at around 15 months.

 

 

We made a water blob that lasted about 5 minutes.

 



 

I took Grace on a date to see a play.

 

 

 

The puppies are getting bigger

 

 

 

 

Summer finally came

 

We went to the Museum of Natural Discovery at Thanksgiving Point

 

 

 

Besides that, everything's pretty normal around here. Jeff goes to work, and I scream at kids all day. Jeff wants me to add that he's growing a beard. I guess it's a pretty big deal. To him I mean. His life isn't very eventful. I threw my back out, so I'm super cranky. I can't believe I'm old enough to say that. That's embarrassing. Grace is still her naughty self. Our AC doesn't work. Our toilet broke for a few days. We had to go pee on top of all the old pee, and then if someone pooped Jeff had to plunge the crap out of it. Literally. Having 10 dogs and 2 naughty kids is a little bit rough. Jeff is naughty too, so I guess it's like having 3 naughty kids. But we are surviving. We still love each other, so far. I was called to be in the primary presidency, so that makes things even more crazy around here. I had to buy a planner to keep my schedule straight. I think most people have that stuff on their phone now. I'm so old school. Some lady at Winco talked to me for like a half an hour about how the government is watching everyone through their smart phones. She said that young people like me think she's weird, because she doesn't have one, and I told her I don't have one either, and she praised me for 10 minutes. I loved it. But then I got annoyed, because the people behind us in line were starting to get annoyed, and I didn't want them to think that I was the annoying one. I hate being the annoying one. Anyway, I don't know why I told you all that. I have to go to bed now. Keep it real. Whatever that means. Oh yeah! Grace is starting school on Wednesday. Well, summer school. She's so excited. She picked out her own backpack, and takes it everywhere with her. I love that she's getting so big. Because that means I can send her away for a few hours every day. Serenity now. Bye. 

 



Just a normal Saturday morning

I took a bath.

Jeff started changing Grace's poopy diaper, but got distracted with letting Sadie outside.

Grace got poop on the carpet.

Jeff cleaned poop off the carpet with the kids bubbles. Still foaming. I'm still pissed.

Henry scrubbed bubble poop into the carpet with his bare hands.

Sadie threw up in the kitchen.

Henry played in throw up in the kitchen before someone noticed it.

Henry threw a frying pan down the stairs and broke it.

Grace pooped her pants.

I fried up some bacon for Sadie's breakfast. She eats better than we do.

Grace washed her face with toilet water.

Sadie shredded a poopy diaper on the front lawn.

I'm sorry for the number of times I said poop or poopy in this blog. I hate myself for it, but it had to be done. Here's some pictures that have nothing to do with this post.