Monday, August 24, 2009

Meet the Parents

Rule #1- Don't tell his mom to shut up.
Rule #2- Don't talk to his grandma about how much you like "old lady clothes".
Rule #3- Don't make jokes about rubbing his uncles behind the ears.

(I don't really know who these people are)

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Duck in bathroom...

poop on floor. I'll punch someone in the face.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

A day at the office

8:09 A.M.- I sneak in late.
8.17 A.M.- Sergio asks if I've missed him. I tell him no.
9:30 A.M.- I notice Kris is high.
10:15 A.M.- Sergio mentions how he went to a concert he thinks I would have loved, but couldn't tell me because he doesn't have my phone number. I tell him he's an idiot.
11:00 A.M.- I go to lunch early.
11:30 A.M.- Kris notices that someone stole her lean cousine.
11:30-12:30 P.M.- Kris goes around the office letting everyone know that someone stole her lunch. I laugh hard.
12:27 P.M.- Gary (short man, partly bald, jeans high enough you can see socks and then some skin) walks by my desk. I tell him he smells good.
12:29 P.M.- Gary IM's me and tells me that he's too old for me and that I need to stop hitting on him.
12:30 P.M.- I walk by Gary's desk and tell him how nice he looks.
12:30-2.22 P.M.- I pull files, and listen to two girls using teamwork to put files in numerical order. They talk through the entire process like it's the most important job in the world. I love them.
2:22 P.M.- I find Michelle hiding under my desk reading a book about how to not scream at your kids.
2:24 P.M.- Someone asks me who I'm talking to, and I say myself.
3:01 P.M.- An alarm goes off. No one moves or says anything about it.
3:23 P.M.- Bob makes a dirty joke. Victoria doesn't laugh, but says that's funny over and over. Victoria has a slight lisp.
3:48 P.M.- I sneeze and Shawn tells me to be quiet.
3:51 P.M.- Jenn comes over to ask me if when I'll be done with the audit. Jenn smacks her gum in my ear like a five year old. I hate her.
4:00 P.M.- Everyone leaves.
4:20-4:55 P.M.- Michelle and I talk about how much we hate our bosses, and both leave early.