Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Sorry Dead Grandma

A few months ago Jeff's Step-Grandma died. She was living in California with Jeff's Dad and Step-mom at the time, so we decided to take the bereavement that Jeff's work offers, and drive down for the funeral. We really didn't know her at all. I hadn't even met her. But we had been wanting to take a trip to California for a while, and this was a good excuse. Sorry Grandma. So we drove down during the night, and got there early the day before the funeral. Jeff's Step-Mom was planning the whole thing, and we were staying at their house, so saying that we were in the way is an understatement. Grace was, of course, running around grabbing everything off of shelves, getting into the fridge, scattering life insurance papers, and screaming a lot. I was pretty embarrassed since this was my first time meeting Jeff's family (besides his Dad). We tried to keep out of the way as much as we could. The day of the funeral arrived, and Grace was still being extra naughty. I think lack of sleep, and her normal routine was wreaking havoc on her. We got to the church, and they were behind schedule, so Grace ran around the halls hiding from me, and screaming for about an hour. Finally they said it was time to start, and brought all the family into the viewing room for a prayer before the funeral started. This is when Grace really outdid herself. I swear I've taught her to fold her arms and close her eyes for prayers, but that day she thought it would be funny to run away from me. I let her go at first, thinking she'd come back when I didn't chase her, but she was looking back at me and laughing hysterically, so I got up to get her. She really thought this was hilarious, so she started running again, laughing the whole time. I'm chasing her down the aisle of chairs, everyone is staring at us, and she runs behind the casket. She actually bumped into it, and I saw it rock a little bit. While Jeff's whole family watched, I chased Grace around the casket, and out the back door. And to top it all off, I was so mortified at the whole situation that my first instinct was to laugh. So while I was chasing her out from behind the dead lady, and everyone was watching, I was laughing. The end.

Friday, November 1, 2013

It's Just Carrots

It's been so long since I've blogged I don't even know where to start. Just kidding. Nothing interesting has happened. Our life is super boring. I'm really happy with it though. The kids are growing, Jeff's job is going well, my hair is looking really good. I just want to write an update on the kids, so I won't forget the little things that make me so happy. Grace is fully potty trained, and it was so easy. She practically did it all herself. Lately she's been really mischievous. The other day I watched her get into my purse and take out some lipstick. Then she looked at me watching her, stuck it behind her back, and told me she needed to go hide for a minute. Henry is 9 months old now. He's about to crawl any minute. Maybe he is crawling. I'll put him down on one side of the floor, and leave the room, and when I come back he's on the other side of the room. I don't know what's happening. I've taken up swearing, and it feels so good. Grace cleaned out a coat closet in the living room, and put a bunch of her toys in it. She calls it her truck. We just might be moving to the Solomon Islands. Have you heard of them? Nobody has. Jeff's uncle recruited him for a job there, so if they offer him the job we have a big decision to make. Sadie turned 3 on Halloween. We forgot her birthday, and didn't buy her any presents. I don't know how I'm going to make it up to her. We're vegetarians now, and I love it. I feel so much healthier. Lots of people ask me why I decided to go vedge. I saw a live pig be thrown into a boiling pot of water at a slaughterhouse. That and meat is full of so many nasty things. You don't even know what you're eating anymore, and I want to know what I'm putting in mine and my kids bodies. As for Jeff, he still eats hotdogs from the gas station, so he'll probably die early. Henry has his dad's luscious lips. Sometimes he'll pucker, and just stare at you. He knows he's so good looking. He also knows how to whistle. If I ever catch Grace doing something naughty she gets that deer in the headlights look and says, "Don't talk to me!" She also lies sometimes. Like today I caught her on the kitchen counter digging in her trick or treat bucket, and when I asked her what she was eating she said, "It's just carrots."