I promise I'm not one of those weirdo's on Doomsday Preppers

Has anybody else been thinking about preparedness as much as I have? I don't know where it first came up for us, but in the last several months we've had dreams, lessons, books, and just random conversations on the topic. We've been told to get a years supply of food and water for decades now, but it seems like not many people have paid attention, including us. Now it's not brought up anymore. I think we've reached the point where we should have it, and if we don't we're about too late. We've been feeling some urgency to get prepared, and as we've followed those promptings I can feel the blessings starting to come. We're not there yet, but we've made a lot of headway in our food storage. We've also made a lot of connections through our preparedness efforts, and have learned a lot. If anybody is interested in getting more information please let me know. I have good stuff. Not like those food storage recipes and how you can store cans under your bed crap.

Sorry I quit blogging. I have to apologize because I know you've all been dying to hear what my kids have been doing, and to see every picture we've taken for the last 6 months. We've been really busy. Jeff and I both work, and have callings in our ward that take a lot of time. We also decided to sell all 3 of our houses, so we're remodeling 2 of them to get them ready to show. That has been really stressful, because while we're having to fund all of these updates, our renters have all decided to stop paying rent, and punch holes in doors and stuff. I think I'm being punished for all the bad rent checks I wrote when I was a teenager. Anyway, I miss blogging, and I wish I had more time, but I need to go take a bubble bath and watch Dance Mom's while it's still quiet.

Bye.  

My Testimony, and then some other pointless crap.

Well I've pretty much given up on blogging. Life is getting too busy, and now that I have a smart phone I have to play games for at least 8 hours a day.

I saw that the church made a change to it's handbook on social media information. It now says that members are encouraged to use the internet to flood the earth with testimonies of the Savior and his restored gospel.

So I want to bare my testimony that I know that The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints is God's church. I haven't always known that. The first few years of our marriage have been hard for me, because I haven't had the time or privacy that I once had to study my scriptures and pray. My callings were overwhelming. I questioned God's love for me, and if he did love me, then why would he let certain things happen? I started questioning things about our doctrine, and had serious feelings about leaving the church. When you grow up in the church, thinking of leaving is scary. That fear probably kept me around long enough to practice my faith. I chose to just move forward as if I knew it was true, even though I didn't. In the last few months I slowly started learning more about things I didn't understand. My desire to read my scriptures and pray started growing, and I started to feel God's love for me again. I went to the temple and found answers to my questions. I started following little promptings, and became a tool in God's hand. My love for my family grew. For the first time in my life I crave to read the scriptures, because I want to hear what God has to say to me. My prayers are genuine. I need help, and I know that I will have it if I ask. I know that things are not always as they seem. What happens on this side of the veil is only half the story. There is a whole other life going on on the other side that answers all of our questions. We are a part of a big plan. I know that if you ask God for answers to your questions, he will give them to you. That's all. Bye.

Oh, also, I think I'm going to delete our facebook, because I don't have a single uplifting thing to say to anyone on there.

Things that must go:

ItWorks. Pictures of fatty "before" thighs, and then pictures of less fatty "after" thighs are still just fatty thighs.

Selfies. Seriously. You should be ashamed of yourselves.

Loving and inspiring notes to your children who can't read. Who exactly are you writing to?

Mushy love notes to your spouse. Don't you have their phone number? You're obviously trying to make up for the fact that you're sitting on facebook instead of spending time with the real live person who lives in that house with you.

Mysteriously having your shirt off while taking a selfie. Like, "Oh I just got out of the gym. Great workout!" I work at a gym, and I have not once seen someone with their shirt off.

Mustaches on everything. Why are they a thing?

K Bye.

Oh, here's some pictures of my wild kids.

Eating sugar

 

Eating dog food.

This is the title of my blog.

So much has happened since the last time I blogged. I'm worried that if I don't catch up now, I never will. So here's the lowdown...

 

We moved to Murray.

 

Grace turned 3.

 

 

Sadie had puppies.

 



We celebrated Easter.





Henry's trying to be modest.

 

 

 

Henry started walking, finally, at around 15 months.

 

 

We made a water blob that lasted about 5 minutes.

 



 

I took Grace on a date to see a play.

 

 

 

The puppies are getting bigger

 

 

 

 

Summer finally came

 

We went to the Museum of Natural Discovery at Thanksgiving Point

 

 

 

Besides that, everything's pretty normal around here. Jeff goes to work, and I scream at kids all day. Jeff wants me to add that he's growing a beard. I guess it's a pretty big deal. To him I mean. His life isn't very eventful. I threw my back out, so I'm super cranky. I can't believe I'm old enough to say that. That's embarrassing. Grace is still her naughty self. Our AC doesn't work. Our toilet broke for a few days. We had to go pee on top of all the old pee, and then if someone pooped Jeff had to plunge the crap out of it. Literally. Having 10 dogs and 2 naughty kids is a little bit rough. Jeff is naughty too, so I guess it's like having 3 naughty kids. But we are surviving. We still love each other, so far. I was called to be in the primary presidency, so that makes things even more crazy around here. I had to buy a planner to keep my schedule straight. I think most people have that stuff on their phone now. I'm so old school. Some lady at Winco talked to me for like a half an hour about how the government is watching everyone through their smart phones. She said that young people like me think she's weird, because she doesn't have one, and I told her I don't have one either, and she praised me for 10 minutes. I loved it. But then I got annoyed, because the people behind us in line were starting to get annoyed, and I didn't want them to think that I was the annoying one. I hate being the annoying one. Anyway, I don't know why I told you all that. I have to go to bed now. Keep it real. Whatever that means. Oh yeah! Grace is starting school on Wednesday. Well, summer school. She's so excited. She picked out her own backpack, and takes it everywhere with her. I love that she's getting so big. Because that means I can send her away for a few hours every day. Serenity now. Bye. 

 



Just a normal Saturday morning

I took a bath.

Jeff started changing Grace's poopy diaper, but got distracted with letting Sadie outside.

Grace got poop on the carpet.

Jeff cleaned poop off the carpet with the kids bubbles. Still foaming. I'm still pissed.

Henry scrubbed bubble poop into the carpet with his bare hands.

Sadie threw up in the kitchen.

Henry played in throw up in the kitchen before someone noticed it.

Henry threw a frying pan down the stairs and broke it.

Grace pooped her pants.

I fried up some bacon for Sadie's breakfast. She eats better than we do.

Grace washed her face with toilet water.

Sadie shredded a poopy diaper on the front lawn.

I'm sorry for the number of times I said poop or poopy in this blog. I hate myself for it, but it had to be done. Here's some pictures that have nothing to do with this post.

Business Time

Sadie is pregnant. I'm about 90% sure. I caught her eating grass yesterday, and all she wants to do is sleep. I bread her about a week and a half ago. It was her first sexual encounter, and my first watching of a sexual encounter. I felt a little intrusive watching her, but how can you not watch? When we got there the owner of the stud brought her dog out, and they got right down to business. I kept laughing and laughing. I made cheesy sex jokes at first, but I was the only on laughing, so I gave up after a while. They had a hard time making a connection, if you know what I mean, so it started getting less funny, and more stressful. The other lady thought maybe we had waited too long in her cycle, and it wasn't going to happen. At one point she had her face down by Sadie's butt trying to help her dog get his goods in the right spot. He sprayed her in the face with his man juices. You heard me. That really happened. After like 2 hours, we were about to give up, and they finally got it right. We had to hold them like that FOREVER. I had Henry crying and pulling my hair, and Grace trying to play with the dogs for the longest 15 minutes of my life, but they did the deed, and now Sadie is a woman. Hopefully in a few months we'll have a litter of goldendoodle puppies.

 

Mom Problems

Those of you who see me in my real life (because this isn't real life right now) know that we're still struggling with sleep. If you see me it's obvious, because of how pissed I look. Grace still wakes up and wants something at some point during the night, probably one out of three nights. Henry wakes up about every hour all night long for no reason. Right now he is sick, and I've had him in bed with me, so I can keep a close eye on him. I can't sleep with Henry. I feel so claustrophobic, and I start to itch, and I feel too hot or too cold, and then it's morning, and I'm devistated. Life is so hard right now, and I want to scream, and cry, and run away, and never come back. Some days I wake up and decide I'm going to have a good day, no matter what. But some days I don't, and then I struggle, every second of the entire day. I struggle with who I am, because I don't have time for me. I talk too much because I'm desperate to have a voice. I question everything I do, and worry that I'm doing everything wrong. But once in a while I hear a little voice in my head that says I'm doing alright. The fact that I feel this way shows that I'm giving my family everything that I have. There's nothing left for me, and that in itself nourishes me. Sometimes I feel so trapped here, but at the same time it's so liberating. I don't care what I look like, I don't care what I eat, I don't care what the prettier mom's at church think about me. I don't even care if I haven't said a single prayer without interruption, or read my scriptures by myself in months. Grace kisses me 12 times before she goes to bed every night, and when she walks into my room in the morning, and hears my voice telling her good morning, her smile is so big. Henry can't even look at my face without smiling. To my family I'm the best mom ever, and they're the only ones that matter. Right now we're in the thick of it, but I see places where my rough edges are being worn away. Slowly I'm becoming who I'm meant to be, and I think the secret is that it's not even about me. Just please let me get some sleep! Like seriously, I'm going to have a nervous breakdown.

I'm not a scrooge.

I've been getting a lot of requests for a blog post lately. I don't know why. My life is very bland. I mostly like to blog about funny things that happen, but things have not been very funny around here. We've been sick for like 2 weeks. I was sick on Christmas day! Stupid Santa. We have this home video from when I was like 3, of us opening presents on Christmas morning. Sarah opened a toy guitar and I got a toy saxophone. The video just shows me staring at Sarah with this look of pure jealousy, and then I say, "stupid Santa...". Jeff thinks it's the funniest thing ever, and he talked about it almost every day leading up to Christmas. Whenever I told him we got a gift from someone he'd say, "Was it good or was it a stupid Santa?"

I've really been loving my life lately actually. Being a mom makes me really happy, and I'm kind of starting to like Jeff. We've reached a point in our marriage where we rarely fight. And if we do I just make him sleep on the side of the bed that got peed on that day. Tonight we had date night for the first time in too long. I've been stuck in this house with these crying kids for 2 weeks, and I could not wait to get away from them. We went to the mall to return some clothes for Jeff and get dinner. We almost went to a movie, but we ended up just coming home, and putting the kids to bed, because I missed them. Now I'm laying in bed on the pee side, and Jeff's watching a movie with my mom. Stupid date night.

So speaking of Christmas, can we find a solution to the problem of having to buy a present for everyone and their dog? I know lots of people do homemade gifts, but I don't really want to homemake anything. I can't finish things I start. It's not that I don't want to give you a gift, but....yeah that's pretty much what it is. That's not even what Christmas is about. It's supposed to be celebrating the birth of Jesus, and having gift anxiety does not help me feel the Christmas spirit. It just stresses me out. Am I going to regret saying this? I'm just going to stop talking.

Now. Things that must go in 2014:
#1. Candy Crush. Just stop playing it already.
#2. Iphones altogether. They're sucking your life away, and you're probably watching way too much porn on them anyway.
#3. doTERRA. Everybody knows that you can buy oils from someone besides doTERRA right? I'm just sick of that word. You can carry on using them. Just stop saying that word. And stop writing it. I hate the way it looks.
#4. Facebook articles on everything. Judging, not judging, being gay, hating gays, not yelling, GMO's, vaccinations.....I just feel like there are too many people talking all at once. No more information. Everybody be quiet.

That's all. Bye.