Sorry Sample Lady

Today we had to go grocery shopping twice. Jeff finally got me on board for not spending all our money, so now I have to shop wherever I can get the best deal, and sometimes that means going to multiple stores. Today we started out at Walmart. I hate Walmart. For obvious reasons. I won't say what they are, because I've seen how mad you guys can get when I say stupid things (you guys ruin everything). Anyway, my kids were awesome. Like Henry didn't even ride in the cart. They all just walked behind me like little ducklings, and everyone told me how adorable they were. Grace and Henry sat down while I checked out, and I gave them suckers I had saved from the bank (I'm getting seriously frugal). Then we packed everything in the car, and ran home to unload. They waited patiently, and Jones didn't even get annoyed. Then we pulled back out and drove over to H.E.B. for the stuff we didn't want to get at Walmart. First of all, why would you name a store H.E.B? What does that have to do with food or shopping? It's actually a pretty cool store. They have lots of samples, so really, that's mainly why we go there. My kids were still pretty happy when we got inside. I let Henry play games on my phone, because I knew he couldn't behave himself for much longer. Grace started getting annoying, and grabbing things off the shelf, and saying "me want this!" in her baby voice. She thinks it's hilarious. I don't even like her at all when I hear her doing it. We came up on some samples, and I handed out crackers to everybody. We got to the best sample spot of all. There's always the same lady there, and she makes entire plates of food, and everything is always really good. Every time we shop at H.E.B. we see this sample lady, and my kids always act really awful. Henry will yell at her not to look at him, Grace will tell her all about her next birthday party, coming up in ten months, she'll comment on how many kids I have with me that day, and then they usually start hitting each other, and screaming bloody murder, and I'll walk away as we both raise our eyebrows at each other like, "Yup, move it along with your crazy family". She likes Jones, but I think she hates the rest of us. Today as I was coming around to see what she had cooking. I was thinking to myself how impressed she was going to be with how everyone was behaving themselves. As I'm making cheesy jokes with the cheese sample man next to her, I hear her yelling, "Ma'am!" And look up to see that Henry's sitting in the middle of the cart smiling and throwing cherry tomatoes at her. I had already stepped on one or two. People were stopping to help pick them up, and the sample lady got her broom out. We got them all picked up, and then for a grand finale Henry dumped all the rest into his lap where they fell through the holes in the cart, and rolled everywhere again. Anyway, it's going to be a while before we go back to H.E.B. I need to gain some of my pride back.

The 4th of July is coming up. Let's all make a goal not to say "merica" this year. Not even once. It's gonna be a great year!