I don't usually say swear words. Swearing makes me feel like one of those trashy girls I went to high school with in Payson. Like the ones I see on Facebook drinking beers and posing in their bikinis that they probably think they look really good in. Sometimes when I'm really pissed, like fuming mad, I'll say swear words in my head, and then I always feel guilty and have to repent later. Once in a while when Jeff and I get in a doozy of a fight, I'll say some swear words, and then later we always laugh about it, because I never really know how to put my swear words into a sentence, and they come out sounding ridiculous. The only time I can really get away with a good swear is at night when Jeff tells me he's going to shave and take a shower. For the next 15 minutes or so, I'll walk around the house saying "shit, shave, and shower." If you slurr all the words together, then you're not really swearing, after all.
I know what you really want is a picture of me in a bikini, holding a beer, but instead, I'll leave you with this picture of me doorbell ditching with my sister.